Category: vintage clothing

So, Mr. Bahnd, we finally know your true id…

So, Mr. Bahnd, we finally know your true identity. Pity. I would have thought a haberdasher a far more challenging adversary than a simple tie maker.

Set in sunny California, “Perky Polyeste…

Set in sunny California, “Perky Polyester” was the Fortrel Company’s ill-fated venture into the burgeoning Saturday Morning kid’s programming. The show seemed to have everything it needed: money, a good time slot after the Bugaloos, and the lead performance of child actor Suzee Swanson, fresh off a hit orange juice commercial (“Get your SQEEEEEEEEZE o’ sunshine!!!”). She played Perky, an overly-caffeinated kid of indeterminate age who tooled around the beaches in her magical spokeless red WonderBus having adventures with her friends. But the insistence of Fotrel’s CEO to include his daughter as the fourth member of the cast was the death knell when it was discovered she had the first documented case of being allergic to a color (yellow). Funding was pulled soon after, and the project was reworked as “Wonder Bug”.

Dr. Rodriguez rubbed his hands in glee. Yes! Y…

Dr. Rodriguez rubbed his hands in glee. Yes! Yes! Success! The Invert-a-Stretch works! He did a little jig around his laboratory. Now I can have all of the tall blondes I want!

“Mommy, why did Becky —”“Hus…

“Mommy, why did Becky —”
“Hush, dear! Becky wants us to get our photo taken and we need to be good little girls, don’t we?”
“But the man —”
“— the man is nice looking, isn’t he? And he’s going to take our picture, just like Becky wanted him to. He was just being silly when he told her no.”
“Well I think he’s silly now without a mouth. And his face is all melty.”
“Hahahaha! No, dear, he’s just fine! He likes it like that.”
“I don’t want to smile anymore.”
“Oh, no, dear, we must smile and be happy, because it’s a good day, isn’t it? It’s a good day!”

“I swear, Barbara, if I didn’t kno…

“I swear, Barbara, if I didn’t know better —”
“Oh, Steve, I’ve told you a hundred times already. Buckles are so yesterday. Now, smile for Lars.”
“Lars? He’s just the photographer. Since when did he become Lars? Besides, I’m not talking about the belt, I’m talking about the shirt.”
“I thought brown and yellow were your favorite colors?”
“They are, but…this pattern…”
“Oh, you silly goose! Lars said you might be camera shy.”
“I’m not camera shy! I mean, where did you find this guy?”
“Why?”
(whispers) “Well, what kind of photographer carries a gun in his camera bag?”
“Look, if you’re going to be such a big baby about, why don’t you try closing your eyes for the first shot? I mean, photo? You know, just to get used to it?”
“Fine, but just so you know, this is the last time I’m wearing this shirt.”
“Okay by me. Smile!”

“No, seriously, she actually believes…

“No, seriously, she actually believes she’s Marcia Brady. Here real name is Becky. I saw it on the contract when her mother dropped her off.”
“Seriously? That’s so weird!”
“Tell me about it!”
“She does kind of look like her, you know.”
“Are you kidding?! Her cheekbones are all wrong, for one. I mean, if anyone should know, it’s me, right?”
“Wait… what do you mean?”
“Well, silly! I’m Jan Brady, remember?”

The Crochet Berets had a minor hit with &ld…

The Crochet Berets had a minor hit with “My Little Star Bag” in 1975, reaching all the way to number 55 on the Pop charts.  They sank without a trace after a DJ disproved the rumor that Erin Moran was the lead singer by showing she was on the set of Happy Days shooting the episode “Hollywood: Part 3”.

“No, see, she’s a lawyer and a …

“No, see, she’s a lawyer and a mom.”
“Hmmm…”
“Look, I  already pitched it to Tinker and he loved it. Absolutely loved it. Said it will knock Police Woman out of the 8 PM slot on Fridays.”
"What do we have running there now?”
“Holmes & Yo-Yo.”
“Oh. Yeah. Okay, so, what’s her husband do?”
“He’s a stay at home dad, see. But he’s a dope. Can’t even run the dishwasher, overloaded sudsy laundry, one of those rag-mop dogs, the whole bit.”
“Is there a sexy divorced neighbor who has no job and always seems to be dropping by right at the most inopportune times half the time only wearing a terry cloth towel for some reason?”
“Of course.”
“Sold.”
Lawyer Mom! 

She’s BUMP!(She’s a crazy one!)…

She’s BUMP!
(She’s a crazy one!)
She’s BUMP!
(She’s just havin’ fun!)
She’s BUMP and no one’s gonna hold her down!
She’s BUMP!
(And her best friend Sue!)
She’s BUMP!
(And HER best friend Lou!)
She’s BUMP she’s gonna turn your world around!
Take a little magic and a groovy attitude,
Mix it up with moxie and some who-knows-what-else-too!
She’s BUMP!
(She’s a crazy one!)
She’s BUMP!
(She’s just havin’ fun!)
She’s BUMP, and she’s comin’ to your town!!

“No, no, no! The poisonous one is on the fa…

“No, no, no! The poisonous one is on the far left! Remember, ‘Red next to yellow kills a fellow. Red next to gray means come out and play.’ Now let’s try again. The party’s in only two hours.”