Category: vintage catalogs

“Mommy, why did Becky —”“Hus…

“Mommy, why did Becky —”
“Hush, dear! Becky wants us to get our photo taken and we need to be good little girls, don’t we?”
“But the man —”
“— the man is nice looking, isn’t he? And he’s going to take our picture, just like Becky wanted him to. He was just being silly when he told her no.”
“Well I think he’s silly now without a mouth. And his face is all melty.”
“Hahahaha! No, dear, he’s just fine! He likes it like that.”
“I don’t want to smile anymore.”
“Oh, no, dear, we must smile and be happy, because it’s a good day, isn’t it? It’s a good day!”

“I swear, Barbara, if I didn’t kno…

“I swear, Barbara, if I didn’t know better —”
“Oh, Steve, I’ve told you a hundred times already. Buckles are so yesterday. Now, smile for Lars.”
“Lars? He’s just the photographer. Since when did he become Lars? Besides, I’m not talking about the belt, I’m talking about the shirt.”
“I thought brown and yellow were your favorite colors?”
“They are, but…this pattern…”
“Oh, you silly goose! Lars said you might be camera shy.”
“I’m not camera shy! I mean, where did you find this guy?”
“Why?”
(whispers) “Well, what kind of photographer carries a gun in his camera bag?”
“Look, if you’re going to be such a big baby about, why don’t you try closing your eyes for the first shot? I mean, photo? You know, just to get used to it?”
“Fine, but just so you know, this is the last time I’m wearing this shirt.”
“Okay by me. Smile!”

“No, seriously, she actually believes…

“No, seriously, she actually believes she’s Marcia Brady. Here real name is Becky. I saw it on the contract when her mother dropped her off.”
“Seriously? That’s so weird!”
“Tell me about it!”
“She does kind of look like her, you know.”
“Are you kidding?! Her cheekbones are all wrong, for one. I mean, if anyone should know, it’s me, right?”
“Wait… what do you mean?”
“Well, silly! I’m Jan Brady, remember?”

The Crochet Berets had a minor hit with &ld…

The Crochet Berets had a minor hit with “My Little Star Bag” in 1975, reaching all the way to number 55 on the Pop charts.  They sank without a trace after a DJ disproved the rumor that Erin Moran was the lead singer by showing she was on the set of Happy Days shooting the episode “Hollywood: Part 3”.

She’s BUMP!(She’s a crazy one!)…

She’s BUMP!
(She’s a crazy one!)
She’s BUMP!
(She’s just havin’ fun!)
She’s BUMP and no one’s gonna hold her down!
She’s BUMP!
(And her best friend Sue!)
She’s BUMP!
(And HER best friend Lou!)
She’s BUMP she’s gonna turn your world around!
Take a little magic and a groovy attitude,
Mix it up with moxie and some who-knows-what-else-too!
She’s BUMP!
(She’s a crazy one!)
She’s BUMP!
(She’s just havin’ fun!)
She’s BUMP, and she’s comin’ to your town!!

“No, no, no! The poisonous one is on the fa…

“No, no, no! The poisonous one is on the far left! Remember, ‘Red next to yellow kills a fellow. Red next to gray means come out and play.’ Now let’s try again. The party’s in only two hours.”

Leopardess and the Turtles scored a major hit …

Leopardess and the Turtles scored a major hit in their native Sweden with “Skiing With My Go-Go Boots On”. Poised to take over the States, their single failed to chart because of public outrage when the record manufacturer accidentally printed their record sleeve with a workplace safety graphic. An original mint copy of “This Is What Happens When You Don’t Wear Your Leather Cullottes” now sells for over $2000.

“That Smile Award is mine, Jeannie!&rdqu…

“That Smile Award is mine, Jeannie!”
“Like fudge! I’m not letting some two-bit hack break my record!”
“You’re old school, you has-been. And wait’ll the judges find out you capped your teeth!”
“That’s a lie! Who told you that?”
“A certain Jeremy Banks. He said you’re a bad kisser.”
“He did not! I kiss that way so I won’t scratch my teeth on his braces! And stay away from my boyfriend!

When the statue was first unveiled, it rece…

When the statue was first unveiled, it received almost universal derision. Standing over three-hundred-and-eighty feet tall, it dwarfed the next-tallest structure, the grain elevator on the south of town, by almost two-hundred feet. But over time, “Quilted Beige” became a local landmark, putting Harmony, Iowa on the map. “It’s an eyesore, sure,” says Mayor Bernie Banks. “But it’s our eyesore.”

“Mr. Harms, I’m… I’m afraid it’s much worse than we…

“Mr. Harms, I’m… I’m afraid it’s much worse than we originally thought.”
“You mean…?”
The doctor sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Yes. The redness of the skin has spread to her entire body now. That we could deal with, but the sores have metastasized to her skin. Most of them have already begun producing spore pockets. The next phase will be…”
“Please. Don’t tell me.”
“Have you been following the procedure we talked about? Regarding her condition?”
“Yes. I told her it was a poorly crocheted vest my mother made for her birthday.”
The doctor nodded. “Good. It will make the end more comfortable for her if she’s unaware.”
A pause. “How long does she have?”
“Given her condition? I don’t think she’ll make it into the Eighties.”